Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think i have herpe
just one?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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