you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
