There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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