wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
