If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
