My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
