it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
