So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
