so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
