the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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