How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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