we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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