I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
