well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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