no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
