I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
