i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
