I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
