Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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