If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
