True but thats because hes a fetus.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize