its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
