I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
