What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
