he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
