Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
