the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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