I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
zippers are such a cool invention
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
