I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
