We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
