found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
