Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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