Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
