K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
