So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
