He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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