did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
