In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
accomplished twins. life is a go
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
