i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
