Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
