One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
