She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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