Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
