And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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