Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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