JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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