walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How external is "for external use only"?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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