Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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