I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
