cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
